Matrimonial Ads
Thursday, September 06, 2007
The other day, I was reading the matrimonial ads in Times of India. They all went in a monotonous way like "Bride wanted for a 24 year good looking Engineer working with a MNC with good salary. Girls should be good looking and well mannered and blah blah..." I was just wondering how would be the situation if every person starts putting up the advertisements in a language that suite their profession. Just have a look at the following advertisemnts.
FISHERMAN :-Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.
SALESMAN:- Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!
ECONOMIST:-I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.
MATHEMATICIAN:-Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.
IT CONSULTANT:-Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.
BUSINESS MAN:-Wife wanted for company.
POLITICIAN:-I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live,to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point)
CAR DEALER:-Wanted a sturdy, reliable,low depreciating wife.Should be in excellent working condition.
FARMER:-Wanted a wife from good stock.Required for breading.
LAWYER:- I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a girl.The girl should be strictly a girl,with evidence to support this view that she is a girl.The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of MyLordi.e.Myself.Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained.
